That Third Elusive Component

Obviously, I shouldn’t base all of my happiness on men. I think the reason that I have so much frustration, grief, and anxiety with romance is because I have everything else. I realize that sounds a bit cocky. I see things the same way Carrie does on an episode of Sex & the City; all New Yorkers are searching for three thing: a job, an apartment, and a man. Unfortunately, you can only have two out of three at any one time. As torturous as teaching can be, I still can’t imagine going to work every morning and not being challenged by the bright, smiling faces of adolescents each day. Teaching is more than a job; it’s a career and at twenty-five, how many others can say they have a career (with decent pay and good benefits)? My apartment is small, but it’s in a great neighborhood and I have a great relationship with my roommate. So why not strive for perfection, prove Ms. Bradshaw wrong, and get that third elusive component?

Patience escapes me. I want to be able to wait, to take things slow, to let my feelings and his run their course. This feels unattainable and I can’t quite determine why. Confession: I’m an only child. I grew up with three adults in my household, all of whom were eager to give me their attention. Does this mean I am doomed to forever expect the same thing from a potential partner? I hope not! How do I manage my impatience so that I can, like Toni Braxton suggests, “Let It Flow”?